In my last post I reflected upon how God can and often does speak through our desires.  However, I know that figuring out what God is saying to us is not always easy.  How can you know which desires are from the Lord and which are from you? Are all good desires meant to be acted upon?

In the following points, I do not intend to give you a how-to-discern-my-desires check list; rather, I want to give you some points for reflection to help you to discern your desires as best as you can.

1) Desires from the Lord always lead us to embrace our vocation more deeply — Is the desire that you’re experiencing something that, if acted upon, will help you to be a better husband or wife, priest or religious sister, or whatever your current state in life is?  A married person may be attracted to someone who is not their spouse.  Attraction is natural and there is nothing inherently wrong with it.  However, God does not intend a married person to act upon the desire to be involved with another person.  The question that needs to be asked is: what is it in this person that I’m attracted to?  Beauty, goodness, wisdom?  John Eldredge points out that at times we need to separate the object of desire from what it is we are truly seeking.  Another example: a mother or father may have a desire to commit to some noble cause; however, if it will lead to the neglect of their family, then chances are that desire is not from God.

2) Desires from the Lord are generally consistent with the way He has led us in the past — If there have been times in your life when you knew the Lord was asking you to do something, how did He communicate it to you?  Look back and reflect upon how He has spoken to you in your life.  Chances are, the Lord will be somewhat consistent.  Not always, but He’s certainly not out to mess with our heads!

3) Desires from the Lord are generally consistent with the gifts and talents He’s given us –  Our gifts and talents are a good indicator of our mission.  For example, you might be deeply moved by music and truly desire to communicate a message to the world through singing; but what if you can’t carry a tune?  Maybe music awakened your desire to bring a message to the world, but it’s probably through another talent that you possess.  What you need to do is figure out what desire that music aroused in you and what gifts and talents you can use to bring your message to the world.  There’s also a possibility that your desire is God’s way of revealing a gift and talent that you never knew you possessed.

4) Desires from the Lord always lead us to virtue, not to sin — As you reflect upon the desire in your heart, do you see it as a desire that is going to lead you closer to God or if you act upon it would it hurt your relationship with Him?  Alleviating poverty is a noble aspiration, but robbing a bank to do it is a bad means to a good end.  An obvious example, but you get the point.

5) Desires from the Lord gently persist in our hearts — If after you’ve taken time to discern the above points and you see that the desire will lead you to embrace your calling more deeply, that it’s consistent with the way God has spoken to you in the past, that the desire can be acted upon with your gifts and talents, and that the desire will lead you closer to the Lord in virtue and not hurt your relationship with Him, then…you must be patient.  It is good to wait upon the Lord and to see if the desire in your heart gently persists.  Is it gently and consistently welling up in your heart, especially during prayer?  Is it bringing you peace and joy when you think about doing it?  If so, chances are that God may be asking you to do what you desire.

In the end, it comes down to faith and trust.  In your discernment, if you’ve answered yes to all of the above points and then you act on your desire and fail or it doesn’t turn out the way you thought, were you wrong?  Not necessarily.  We cannot pretend to comprehend God’s ways.  However, I do believe that the Lord can teach us through everything that happens in our lives, even failure and shattered expectations.

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