How to Forgive

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12 Responses to “How to Forgive”

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  1. Claire says:

    Dear Father Najim,

    Instead of trying to explain forgiveness to others, I will send them your awesome discourse. It is the best that I have heard. You are a blessing!

  2. united says:

    Father Mike,

    Thank You for the reminder to constantly have Eyes of Compassion, St. Stephen , the first martyr( AS JESUS said) Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing Yes, you are so right , we must plant forgiveness in order to harvest it, Hearing it from you helps us to realize, it is not easy but worth it.

  3. Kay says:

    Thank you. This was beautiful!

    Also, like the beard.


  4. Julie Ford says:

    I loved your thoughts on forgiveness. We teach a marriage prep class at our parish and I would love to use this in our class with your permission. It is a wonderful reminder to understand our own and others brokenness– when we feel hurt we have less filters to process our feelings and we react rather than create a space to respond from the eyes and the heart of compassion. May God continue to richly bless you!!

  5. Germaine Yeoh says:

    Dear Father,

    Thank you very much for this very inspiring video!
    I tried to follow your advice but i find it really hard to forgive when the person don’t even feel sorry. Whenever i try to forgive, i’m being hurt again for the same reasons. How to forgive when I’m constantly being hurt again and again by the same person and for the same reason?

    • sarah says:

      I think that sometimes forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. Have no malice in your heart. Show them where they have injured you and if they do not own up or treat you with respect you are not required to continue in that relationship as I understand. If that is wrong please let me know.

    • Pam H. says:

      St Bonaventure says, when we see someone else “throwing themselves into a ditch” (sinning), it makes no sense to “throw ourselves into another” (commit another sin in response – i.e., anger/desire for revenge). Fr Servais Pinckaers recommends offering the suffering the offender gives us up to God for that person’s conversion, and/or as penance for our own sins, which are often many more than we realize. These two bits of advice have helped me a very great deal in the same situations you describe.

  6. Sandra says:

    Father Najim

    I have the same situation as Germain (above) and am interested in your perspective…

    Further to Germain’s question you mentioned that when someone is hurtful we must forgive but it doesn’t mean we have to be around that person…we may need to stay at arms length. That is my challenge. I can more easily forgive those who I can then stay at arms length from. I have difficulty forgiving the repeat offender who is not sorry (as Germain said) and who is a spouse so I can not stay at arms length…

    Any thoughts? Maybe Julie Ford (above) has thoughts based on her experience with marriage prep…

    • Pam H. says:

      It’s very much more difficult for most of us to forgive those we cannot get away from. We just need to keep getting up, each time we fall, and starting on the path to virtue again. Therese of Lisieux (her autobiography, or especially her Last Conversations), can help with this. (See my comment to Germaine, too.)

      I wish I could get up and try again as readily as Therese, but we learn by trying again.

      Another thought: Try to examine your own conscience as objectively as possible (even though the other person’s offenses will make this more difficult) and see if there is anything, however small, that triggers the other person’s offenses. This could be a huge road to healing, for both parties.

  7. Lonnie Cherryholmes says:

    Wow, I am so glad that I saw this today! In my heart I forgive others but…
    I have a unusual thing to forgive my brother for that happened many many years ago. I have had the pain and anguish of this for along time. I know that I have forgiven him in my heart but as you said he must have been going through something to cause the pain to me.

    Now, I have never spoke to him about this for many years and I feel I must somehow let him know that I do forgive him. It is a delicate subject and I feel am not sure how best to proceed. Is is possible that with all the years he may somehow already know that I have forgiven him?

    Any advise would be appreciated.

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