I have to be honest, self-love is not a topic that I remember hearing much about growing up. I can’t remember hearing a single homily on self-love, I don’t remember hearing about it in Catholic elementary school, and I know for a fact that I didn’t hear much about it in the seminary.
For some reason we struggle with the idea that God invites us to love ourselves. Maybe it’s because we mistake self-love for selfishness; but, when we do that we’re really being falsely humble. Humility is not about beating ourselves up; it’s about accepting and loving ourselves as God accepts and loves us, warts and all.
It’s important to state what self-love is not. It’s not narcissism or self-glorification or egoism. Self-love is being deeply aware of our dignity as children of God and treating ourselves accordingly; loving and accepting ourselves as God loves and accepts us.
The truth is, some of us don’t like ourselves very much. We say things to ourselves that we would never say to another person; we believe things about ourselves that we would never believe about another person; and sometimes we treat ourselves in destructive ways, ways that we would never treat another person.
I, too, have struggled with self-love. I’ve never claimed to have all my stuff together. As a priest, however, I have to prayerfully reflect upon whether or not I believe what I invite others to believe. Oftentimes, especially when hearing confessions, I’ll say things such as:
“You’re a beloved child of God.”
“You are precious to the Lord.”
“You are beautiful in God’s eyes.”
“The Lord loves you and accepts you.”
It’s easy for me to say these things to others, but it’s not so easy for me to say them to myself and to believe them for myself. In fact, sometimes I feel a bit awkward when I say:
“I am a beloved child of God.”
“I am precious to the Lord.”
“I am beautiful in God’s eyes.”
“The Lord loves me and accepts me.”
But it’s the truth, and it’s important for me to believe it. I am beloved, precious, and beautiful; and so are you! God does love and accept me; and He loves and accepts you!
Yes, self-love is Christian, for if we want to know how beloved, precious, and beautiful we are, we need only to look at the cross. When we look at a crucifix, our temptation might be to feel guilty for our sins rather than to focus on how much Jesus loves us. But each of us is worth that much.
Today, be grateful to the Lord that you are his beloved child. In your prayer, speak to the Lord from you heart as you pray: “Thank you that I am your beloved child. Thank you that I am precious to you. Thank you that I am beautiful. Thank you for loving and accepting me.”
If you enjoyed this post please share it:
The concept of self-love became clear to me in Jesus’ reminder that we are to love others as ourselves. If we do not love ourselves in a healthy, God-pleasing way (as you note in your post), how can we truly love our neighbor?
Sharron,
You’re right, and I should have included that wonderful scripture quote in my post: we are to love others as ourselves.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Peace!
This is a message that so many teens need to understand now a days! And I guess with you as chaplain for a school see this first hand. The kids are walking around so empty and hurt and looking for love in the wrong places, when all they have to do is look within themselves. God bless you in your ministry to the high school crowd Fr. Mike!
Michelle…you’re so right that teens need to hear this message. Thanks for your prayers!
This post has really struck a chord with me. Exactly what I need to hear/read. I have tried to say those things to myself, (about the Lord loving you) and mostly I feel ridiculous and feel like I’m lying to myself, BUT I truly believe them about other people. I have been asked why I think that everyone else could be loved but me, and I don’t have a rational answer for that…
From what I am reading, it’s all about balance. Not being so into yourself to the point of arrogance, but not disliking yourself either. In writing that, I have no idea how to strike that balance, and will definitely be taking this to prayer.
Thank you Fr. Najim for posting this.