Usually when I write a post for this blog I reflect on the spiritual life and give some practical advice about how to live in deeper friendship with the Lord. However, this post, prompted by a recent experience, is more a reflection on the gift of friendship. If anything, I hope it makes you more grateful for the friends that God has blessed you with.
On Tuesday morning I drove 2 ½ hours to southern Maine to join four of my brother priests for an extended day away. Normally, if I do get away for an overnight, I drive home to Westerly to visit with my family and to have a little downtime. I have my Friday routine: breakfast at the Cooked Goose restaurant followed by a little time in front of their fireplace; lunch with mom on her break from work (or an afternoon of golf in the warm weather); and an afternoon cup of coffee at Perks and Corks cafe where I’ll generally do some reading and writing.
The home in Maine provided a picture perfect setting. My friend, Fr. Matt, is blessed to have some very generous friends with spectacular beachfront property who let us use their summer home. We spent most of our time in the sitting-room overlooking the ocean. In the afternoon we went out for some New England clam chowder (or “chowda” as we say), and then went to the local Hannaford’s to buy food for our evening dinner.
When evening came we enjoyed a cocktail and some great conversation. (Okay…it was actually late afternoon and we had a couple of cocktails. But I digress). We cooked a nice meal, sat around the dinner table for a few hours sharing more spiritual conversation, and enjoyed some uncontrollable laughter—the I-can’t-breath-tears-are-streaming-from-my-eyes kind of laughter. Even as I write this I am smiling thinking about the joy that we were experiencing.
Friendship is good; but spiritual friendship is a profound grace. I’m sure we’re all blessed to have good friends that we associate with once in a while or even regularly; but it’s a rare find when you have a small group of friends that you can share with on the deepest level: a level that blows superficiality out of the water; a level that is profoundly spiritual; a level where you can talk about your deepest joys and most intense struggles; a level where you’re accepted unconditionally. That’s an amazing grace.
This kind of friendship is rooted in Christ. The one thing that my priest-friends and I have in common, the one thing that unites us, is that each of us knows what it is to live in friendship with Jesus. We know the joys and struggles, the triumphs and the failures, and we’re able to share these with one another. We’re able to listen to one another, to challenge one another, to encourage one another, and to pray with one another.
On Wednesday morning, before I left, we celebrated Mass in that room overlooking the ocean. For a brief moment the shore of Maine became the shore of Galilee, and Jesus once again called together a band of brothers and then sent them out on mission. United in the Eucharist, our bond with Christ and with one another was strengthened. Those are the moments that you wish could last forever. Those are the moments that I believe are a foreshadowing of the fellowship and joy we will experience in Heaven.
I left renewed, and drove home grateful for the gift of spiritual friendship.
Living in holiness is joyful but can be difficult at times. It’s even more difficult if you don’t have friends that you can share with on a deep level. You can’t force this kind of friendship. It has to unfold naturally—or I should say supernaturally.
I hope and pray that each of you is blessed with at least one spiritual friend that you can share your heart with. If not, pray that the Lord will send one person or a group of people into your life that will challenge and encourage you to live in holiness. If you are blessed to have spiritual friendships, then thank the Lord for this great gift that He has given to you.
Hello Father! Greetings from the Philippines! I can really relate with this story. I am thankful that God gave me spiritual friends through my co-novices. As persons we have many differences but we don’t let our differences hinder our friendship and community life – although not everyday is a sunny day but at least we learn from our mistakes and strive to forgive, accept, and understand each other better. We believe that He that unites us is stronger than which that divides us.
I like that saying: He he unites us is stronger than that which divides us.
Thanks for reading!
Peace!
This is beautiful! Thanks for sharing your trip with us all and for making me think about these spiritual friendships more.
Father, thank you for sharing your friendships with us. It is so beautiful and true. I want to run a copy and share it with a few of my very special friends at my church. They probably do not know how strongly I feel about them.
For some reason this brought tears to my eyes. And I think it is because the bonds of spiritual friendship are so much stronger. They are so void of selfishness and only seek the good for one another. And I think about my brother-in-law who was ordained a priest last year and do hope that this becomes a reality in his life as well. I will pray for that.
Father,
I forward your message to five spiritual friends and told them I felt the same about them. Thank you. It helped many of us see the gift of friends God gives us. David
Thank you so much for this wonderful article. It came at a time in my life when I needed to hear this message. I have been praying for this very thing…..I will trust that the Lord will provide this for me in His time…
Thanks so much for the comments everyone! Be assured of my prayers for each of you!
Peace!
Dear Father Mike,
Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful experience. I’m grateful for the wonderful spiritual freindships in my life. Yes, they are a great gift.
Thanks so much, Father. It was beautfiful to read and it is a gift to experience spiritual friendship. Thanks for your prayers.
(Fr) Mike,
Reminded of many gatherings with the brothers and the gift of our priestly fraternity. It was good spending time in prayer, song and holy conversation… This we all need a regular diet of fraternal charity. And as you know the laughter is always helps with the healing. I reminded of (Fr) Daniel’s constant reminder to us in our studies
Psalm 133 – A Song of Ascents…
“Behold, how good and peasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!
It is like the precious oil upon the head, running down upon the beard, upon the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes!
It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountain of Zion!
For there the Lord has commended the blessing, life for evermore.
With prayers of thanksgiving for our friendship.
Fraternally in Christ’s love, (Fr) Sean
Dear Father, I’m a lonely widow who is longing for the kind of friendship you describe, but it eludes me. I’m very closely united to Jesus in the Eucharist as are some of my dearest friends, but it never gets to the level you have attained. I’ll change the focus of my prayers and ask Him to change our hearts’ desires. In Christ, Virginia
Virginia,
Be assured of my prayers, and continue to stay close to Jesus in the Eucharist.
Peace!
Since I changed career, I lost all my great and best friends. Now I am on the point where many great new friend-ship and friend-airplane are being developed. Reading this article will help me to have a clearer view of where to orientate the relationship.
Thanks Father!
After reading this i too thank Jesus for giving a spiritual Friend .Thank you Jesus for giving me a friend to share about your miracles